The Greatest Game

Arnold Palmer once described the game of golf thusly:  “Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.  It satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect.  It is at the same time rewarding and maddening – it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.”

A pretty bold statement this, from the pen of Arnold, the undisputed “King” of this magnificent sport that people either seem to love (to the point of obsession) or hate (Twain called it … well, you’ll see).

I happen to be in the fold of those who love the game.  I’ve been playing it for years, and am convinced that there are enough facets to this diamond of a sport to make it the sole object of a blog, which is why we will probably visit the world of golf more than once here.

So let’s take a very quick peek at one little corner in this vast universe.

The Masters.  Played on a golf course make in heaven, this tournament is the first of the four “major” (others: U.S. Open, the Open championship, PGA) golf tournaments played each year.  All the others rotate year to year among an informal list of excellent venues.  Only the Masters is played on the same course (Augusta National), year in and year out, since its inception in 1934.  It is located on the site of a former nursery farm, which set the stage for the stunning portrait this piece of land has become.  It is a cathedral of beauty. You could hate golf, but if you love flowers and elegant landscaping, you would find blissful happiness for a day simply walking around this unique property.  But bring your hiking shoes, for this is a very hilly walk indeed!

Unlike any other golf tournament, the Masters moves to a beat of its own. At Augusta, there are simply certain rules, which are not negotiable.  Take it or leave it.  The “Lords of Augusta,” as they are known, run the golf tournament ….their way!

They strictly limit the number of persons who can attend.  There is a waiting list for badges (tickets), and it is far easier to get Green Bay Packer season tickets than it is to score a pass for Augusta National.   You can bring only a very limited number of things onto the course….an armless folding chair and a water bottle (with label taken off), are notable examples. No food. No cameras (except for practice rounds).  NO cell phones or other such devices are allowed, period.  No exceptions. 

And there is a certain civility inherently demanded, which I thought would be impossible at a major tournament like this.  The “patrons”  (do NOT, under any circumstances, refer to the attendees as the “gallery”) conduct themselves with quiet dignity as they move about the course…no shouting, loud talking, running, or other displays.  The nuns at this parochial school are very strict!

The thing I found most inspiring (and amusing) was the view that I encountered near the clubhouse very early in the morning. There were literally hundreds of chairs lined up 10+ rows deep all around the 18^th green….and they were all empty!  It is like they were placed there for some future concert or play.

You see, when the “patrons” first arrive they place their chairs (you can buy them there as well) around their favorite green or other vantage point. The patrons then roam around the course and watch the tournament from various vantage points, have lunch (very inexpensive) at one of the vendors, enjoy a beer (also very inexpensive), marvel at the beauty before them, only to return hours later (to see their favorite players walk up the 18^th fairway) and find their chair a) still there, and b) unoccupied!  Try that at a golf tournament around New York say, and you would witness a much different result.   

As you know by now, I’ve had the honor of attending the Masters tournament.  I spent a day at Augusta National a few years ago.  My son accompanied me, and through his connections, we were also able to tour the historic clubhouse with the son of Bob Golby, the Masters winner in 1968.   What struck me about the clubhouse was how worn and outdated it looked inside, and how small it was. They certainly don’t spend their seemingly endless source of funds on decorating.  But they do spend an enormous amount on the upkeep of the course itself.  There are NO weeds on the premises.  Not one, single, solitary, lonely weed.  Then there are the flowers.  Even the attached pictures can not do justice to what is presented to your eyes when you first observe Augusta National, which is why, standing on the second floor veranda at the clubhouse, looking out over the magnificent panorama, was a priceless moment in time.

The Masters experience was one of the most enjoyable days of my life.  People have all kinds of opinions as to the running of the golf tournament, and to the operation of the Club itself,  and some are certainly valid, but one thing is undeniable:  the folks who rule the Masters put on the best golf tournament in the world. 

Mark Twain Quote:  “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”