Saturday, January 31, 2015

Fun With Words

I wish I had a talent for this stuff.  I envy people who can sit down and roll off their tongue what complety escapes my consciousness.  Oh well, that's what seperates us from Dr. Suess and E.B. White.

All of this is, of course, my disclaimer for the conception of these cute phrases.  And it is a quick and cheap way to post a blog, but time of late I have none.  Time in Buffalo, preps for a trip to Florida (thank Fred I'm getting out of this miserable cold), and my increased push to make My back stop the attacks have left me high and dry.  Long story…another time.

In the meantime, enjoy these:

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. (feels like there should be a clashing of symbols here)
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center you've see a mall.
Police were called to a day care center where a three year old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the ellow whose whole left side was cut off?  He's all right now. (definitely a symbol called for here)
A bicycle can't stand alone.  It is two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That's the point of it.
And the final entry….aren't you glad?
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

Amen.

Mark Twain Quote:  "As soon as one is at rest, in this world, off he goes on something else to worry about."

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Top Ten?

I think it's tough enough to make a top ten list of anything. I mean, how do you really know?  So much subjectivity, too little objectivity?  Says who?  What's your criteria?  Tell a hundred people to make a top ten list of something, and you'll get one hundred diferent answers.  But for some perverse human reason, we revel in making this stuff up.  Must fulfill some kind of need.

Here, we visit an outfit called WatchMojo.com and sneak a peek at what has to be the toughest top ten subject….ever.  I refer to the Top Ten Movies of All Time!!!   Of ALL time -- top ten?  You can do that?  What the hell standards do you apply to come up with that list?

Well, in this case, the Mojo folks based their list rankings by drawing from the #1 or #2 ranked movies in each decade.  Then to this recipe they stirred in the movie's iconic status, critical acclaim, box-office success, and….wait for it…..its watchability.  Is that like "physicality?"  This is not a list your film studies professor or most artsy movie critics would pick.  But it is a list, and could fuel many a discussion, nay, argument.  So, with that on our mind, we boldly list….the list.

10.  Apocalypse Now (1979)
       "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," so saith Robert Duvall. Scary flick.

9.    The Wizard of Oz (1939)
        I hated this movie.  Oz is worse than Darth Vader.

8.     Gone With The Wind (1939)
        Tomorrow is another day…one of the worst, albeit it funny, endings of any  movie I've ever seen.

7.     The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
         Don't know, never saw it.  I do like Morgan Freeman though.

6.     The Dark Knight (2008)
        Never saw this either, as I think some of the Batman movies got awfully dark.  And Heath
        Ledger was about as dark as dark could be.  Scary.

5.     Star Wars Episode V:  The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
        Seen one, seem 'em all.  I really liked them when they came out, and even enjoy them now, but
        definitely with a smile on my face and a chuckle or two that was missing the first time around.

4.     Psycho (1960)
        Love Hitchcock, what else is there to say?

3.     Pulp Fiction (1994)
        I've never seen this one from beginning to end.  I hereby resolve, in 2015, to correct this
        omission.

2.     Citizen Kane (1941)
        OK, OK, I guess….it's on everyone's list.

And finally, the Number One movie of ALL time?????

1.      The Godfather (1972)
         For many reasons, it's tough to knock this one off the pedestal.

NOTE:  Any list of top movies that omits Casablanca (1942) has a fundamental error in its ranking system…that's all I have to say.

Mark Twain Quote:  "There has never been an uninteresting life.  Such a thing is an impossibility.  Inside of the dullest exteriior there is a drama, a comedy, a tragedy."