Boo to Bonatt's

After my visit to Art In The Park, my next logical stop before leaving lovely Harwich Port was my annual pilgrimage to Bonatt’s Restaurant and Bakery in the heart of town. 

I had to have my meltaways.  They are to my breakfast what a lobster is to my lunch (and dinner, for that matter).  Like most people who visit the Cape, I have a list of “must dos.”  To omit any one item on the list is to invite a year of regret and longing for having allowed such a catastrophe.  Not going to happen.

So, before I know it, I’m standing in line at the bakery, eager to taste them once again.  I hear the person in front of me order a meltaway only to be told by the woman behind the counter – we’re all out of them!   At 10:30am.  How  could this possibly be, the customer said, expressing dismay and shock.   Straining to hear what the woman said, I heard the explanation that pretty much went like this:

We open at 6:30 and make 15 trays of them.  We also have a restaurant to run and other things to do. 

The tone and inflection and body language that constituted her reply clearly said to all – we don’t care.  My ears must be lying to me I thought.  What other possible explanation could there possibly be for not having meltaways for sale – in a bakery – at 10:30 in the morning?  It’s a bakery, for Chrissake.

Then, to add insult to the injury inflicted on this poor customer, the woman said that she was a member of the family that bought back the restaurant and bakery a few years ago.  She was in the Bonatt family!  As if to insinuate, well, we know best what’s good for our business. 

Then, to lamely slap a band-aid on the situation, she told the customer that if they really wanted meltaways later in the morning, to call early and reserve them for later pick up.  Note:  my daughter, despite her vow to never again cross the Bonatt threshold, called the next day to reserve a dozen meltaways.  She no sooner put in her order than the clerk hung up on her….never asked her for her phone number or name or time of pick up….she just acknowledged the order with an “OK,” and hung up.  You can’t make this up.

Now, I’m no expert on how to run a business, but how can they not realize the truth right before them.  Bonatt’s is famous for its meltaways.  Near and far, people know Bonatt’s for the meltaway.  Every year, people come from all over God’s creation for one thing only…to sample that unique pastry that can only be found at Bonatt’s. In other words, to the thousands who visit Cape Cod, Bonatt’s means Meltaways!

The first rule of business…provide to the customer what they want.  Period.  There is no second rule.  If you can’t follow rule #1, you will soon find out that no other rules matter.  If you make 15 trays and you run out (especially before 10:30am), then make 20.  If you still run out, make 25.  Repeat this recipe until you have leftovers.  Then, be a good citizen and give them to a food bank.

Now I have no idea how the new family run Bonatt’s is doing business wise, but the folks in line that day constituted a large group of upset customers.  Keep that mantra up for too long a period of time and watch them all disappear.  It appears that the new generation of Bonatts have learned nothing from their family founders.  We’ll see what next year brings.  Given the indifferent attitude I witnessed, I’m not very hopeful.

Mark Twain Quote:  “There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate:  when he can’t afford it, and when he can.”

Vivien Revisited

To refresh your transient memory, take a quick look at Blog Post “Vivien Oswell,” which appeared on August 26, 2013.

It was with some minor, but real trepidation, that I visited Art in the Park this year while at Cape Cod.  Walking from my car to the show, I searched (from too great a distance to be of any value) with worried eyes for that familiar face I have come to expect would always be there, but knew deep beyond denial that God offered me no such guarantee. 

I entered the park and for the first time had a clear view of that spot on the grounds that has been hers for as long as I can remember.  Ah, relief. I recognized the paintings first, and then, around the corner, in the rear of the display, there she sat, like she was presiding over the entire affair. Smiling, contented, and finishing off her Dunkin Donuts snack, Vivien looked like she owned the park, which of course, she did. 

My first impression, my glorious lasting impression, was that she looked wonderful. Though a year older than the picture in the Blog, she actually looked to me to be younger.  This remarkable woman is aging in reverse.  Her skin looked more radiant, and smoother.  Her smile was broad, and livelier than I remember.  Her wit was spot on. A short conversation calmed my remaining fears.  Vivien, I am happy to report, is better than ever!

How the woman does it is beyond my comprehension, but I attributed it (because that’s what I wanted to do) to her Dunkin Diet.  I wished her another year of health and happiness, then, satisfied that she looked better than most of the patrons at the show, and had at least another million miles to go, I headed for the nearest Dunkin Donuts (across the parking lot) for a little snack.  No fool, I learn quickly - I definitely had to have what she was having.

But seriously, have you ever noticed, unofficially speaking, that artists do tend to live long, productive lives.  Oh, to possess that remarkable talent.  Sadly, I am still stuck on stick figures.  See you next year Vivien…

Mark Twain Quote:  “I believe I have had the most trouble with a portrait which I painted in installments – the head on one canvas and the bust on another.”

And The Winner Is……..

…Moby Dick’s.  Meet my new found champion in the category of: Best Lobster Roll … ever!   I honestly thought I’d never see the day.  The menu describes it as “tender tail and claw meat with just a touch of mayo on a toasted New England roll.” It was certainly all of that, and more.  For you novice Cape visitors, Moby Dick’s is located on Rt. 6, at the northern end of the Town of Wellfleet, well on the way to Provincetown.  It’s on the left headed north, and is an unassuming little stop on the road, hardly noticeable, hiding in muted colors just beyond all the cars stuffed into its parking lot.

I should have sensed something special was about to happen when we drove into the parking lot just after they opened for lunch, and were greeted by a ton of people already in line.  Uh - oh I thought, we’re in for a long wait.  But there was a good reason for this popularity.  This place turned out to be a model of organization and efficiency the likes of which I’ve never seen in a restaurant before.  Add to that great casual food, well prepared, and you’ve got a winner.

It is a very informal place, as many Cape joints are.  It kind of reminded me of Sesuit Harbor Café.  A huge line forms outside, and when space is available, the entire party is ushered inside to place their order.  Once the order is placed,  you are escorted to a table already set to fit your needs, there to await your food.  There were 13 of us, and starting the timer at the moment we placed our order until our food was served, no more than 15 minutes elapsed.  For 13 people!

It tastes as good as it looks :)

That’s all lobster meat in the picture folks, piles of it.  It was perfect … toasted roll, just a hint of mayo (I got extra just to add now and then), and oh so tender.  The only drawback was the ever present hot dog bun sized roll.  There was way too much meat for the size of the roll, which is my pet peeve with this lobster treat. But in this case I’ll make an exception and perhaps next time bring a roll of my own so I can make 2 lobster rolls.  Yes, there is plenty enough for two!

Just to be fair, I also visited Chapin’s restaurant in Dennis (the Taunton Ave. location) to sample what has always been my favorite lobster roll.  This is mainly because they use an oversized bun and cram it full of lobster meat, plain and simple.  Except this year.  For some unknown, but fatal reason, Chain’s altered the way they make a lobster roll.  Considerably less meat filled (or should I say didn’t fill) the bun this time.  No lobster roll passes muster unless it is stuffed to the overflowing in the bun.  You lose Chapins.  Quantity of lobster meat ultimately trumps size of bun. 

There is now a new number one in the house.  Content beyond belief, my tummy smiling, I headed south after lunch toward Orleans.  I just happened to be sightseeing and out of the corner of my eye, on Rt. 6, directly across from the entrance to the Salt Pond Visitor Center, I saw a restaurant by the name of The Lobster Shanty.  Out front, by the road, was one of those portable signs with letters you can slide in and out to create your message.  In this case, the message simply said:  Cape Cod’s Best Lobster Roll.  Ya think?  Well, I guess that next year I’ll have to try one of theirs.  It ain’t over yet!  Maybe it will never be over.  I'll try this and other places, that’s a given, but for sure I will return to Moby Dick’s!

My visit to the Cape for 2014 now complete, the next two posts will feature my old friend, Vivien Oswell on the happy side, and, regretfully, Bonatt’s on the sad side.  Stay tuned.

Mark Twain Quote: “All people have had ill luck, but Jairus’s daughter and Lazarus had the worst.”

SHARK HO!

Well, it must be getting close to my pilgrimage to Cape Cod.  A few nights ago, ABC nightly news dutifully reported on a favorite yearly topic of theirs – the annual sighting of great white sharks around Nauset Beach in Orleans, MA.  This year there was even a video of one of the monsters enjoying a slow, leisurely stroll up and down the beach.  So far this year, ABC says 7 sightings have been recorded.

 

Lunch?

Or freedom????

Now, it just so happens that Nauset Beach is exactly where my GPS says my van is going. I’ve never seen a shark off this beach, but I have seen what lures them to stop by this idyllic little spot on their annual migration north.  Seals.  Close to shore, you can watch them pop their little heads out of the water and simply stare at all of us on the beach.  I’ve often wondered what they are thinking when they do that.  Are their round little moon eyes trying to lure us into the water to play with them?   Do they want to join us in beachside frolic?  Or do they just wonder what the hell we are and what we’re doing in their neighborhood?

Now, in the animal kingdom, looks can be very deceiving.  These adorable little fur balls with their “come love me” eyes and cute whiskers and comic antics hide what is in essence a predator in its own right.  One Cape Cod fisherman who should know calls these innocents “wolves that went into the water.”  Why?  Because these little creatures love to feast on – seafood!  In many cases, the same varieties Cape fishermen catch just so we who are at the Cape can enjoy the unique experience of feasting on what is really fresh seafood.  Caught in the morning, on your plate by night.  You can not beat that anywhere!

The seals usually hang around Monomoy Island just off Chatham.  On any given drive by, one could easily see 4,000 to 5,000 seals lounging on the sandbar, much the same as we humans hang around our favorite beach.  Almost non existent in the early 80s, the seal population exploded in the mid 2000s.  The seals in and around the Cape and the islands now number roughly 16,000 smiley faces with whiskers, and their expected growth rate is about 20% a year!

 

Hanging out in Chatham

And…these little critters devour about 4 – 6% of their body weight every day on seafood.  That’s 32 to 48 pounds of fish per seal, every day. Multiply that by 16,000 hungry mouths, and it seriously affects what is left over for us.  Now that makes fishermen mad. 

With numbers like that, the shark community quickly spread the word and decided this was a trip definitely worth the effort.  The fact that seals are to the great white a “superb high calorie meal”  sealed (no pun) the deal.  Permanently entered into their GPS is a yearly visit to The Cape and the islands.  Just like we humans.  

It would be like telling me that a place called Cape Cod is home to the greatest number of outlets for lobster rolls on the planet, all in one convenient little place, where the pickins’ are soooo easy.   I know I’d find it and migrate there every year just to over serve myself on this treat.  Which is essentially what I do, and what they do as well.

Isn't is odd I'm beginning to think.  We go to the Cape for pretty much one of the same reasons the seals and the great white sharks do.  We're all simply looking for a good meal.  

So, it’s off to the Cape I go, with empty stomach and full wallet.  I will enjoy my little feasts, and probably hear more about the shark vs. seal issue as time goes on.  Count on a future battle coming to the Cape regarding the seal problem. Don’t be surprised if the fishermen want to encourage “culling” the herd of seals to address the seafood shortage and great white shark situation.  But the way those things usually work out, don’t count on the sharks leaving this buffet table any time soon!

Mark Twain Quote: “You talk about happy creatures – did you ever notice a porpoise?  Well, there ain’t anything in heaven here superior to that happiness.”

(Mark never wrote about sharks it would appear.) 

What Happened…?

It seems like only yesterday, I was cheerful, bright, and gay … looking forward to …what was that again?  An operation?  I had an operation?  I did?  I did.

Don't remember one single part of it though.  Last conscious memory…being wheeled down a hallway.  Well, it's 4 weeks and 3 days later, and I just now feel remotely like sitting down and writing … anything … let alone a blog post.

Blame it on what?  The wholly unanticipated consequences and after shock of having one's  body opened up, "repaired," and then put back together again (truth be told, I actually had two operations, but that is a story for a blog not yet born)? The underestimated physical and mental stress demands that are placed upon that little body?  The mindset - never did I think there would be this long or bothersome "recovery" period.  Which is still well under way, by the way.

And that brings me to the most current and active reason …. drugs.  When you are under the influence of Mr. Morphine and Mr. Oxycodone, you really don't feel like doing anything.  Suspended twixt slumber and awareness, writing is not one of the things that even enters your life.  Believe me, drugs are NOT an inspiration to writing or creativity. Now, a good beer or three, or a large wine or two … those can inspire rocks to literature.

So, once the drugs have ceased their hold and purged themselves from my vessels to make room for the true inspiration of the pen, then will you see a blog post.  There's lots to tell, if ultimately I feel like it. And can remember it.  Hopefully, it won't be long.

Mark Twain Quote:  "Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of a thing, any way you take him; a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities.  He is always undergoing repairs.    A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market."

Tide You Over

Well, here's your filler, till I am upright again.  Hospital tomorrow…new report time is 8 am, with the first ceremonial cut scheduled for 10 am.  That's the first schedule change, others will most certainly follow.  I may have to to a post-op post or two on my experience.

But on to our topic. I love this stuff.  What would a shrink say that says about me?  Who the hell cares.  Read on, and be enlightened (I hope these are accurate. For all I know, some of them are a lie from the pit of hell):

Maine is the closest U.S. state to Africa

Anne Frank, Martin Luther King, Jr…and Barbara Walters were born in the same year, 1929

Cleopatra lived closer to the invention of the iPhone than she did to the building of the Great Pyramid.

Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto.

Hippo milk is pink.

Carrots were originally purple.

The heart of a whale is so big, a human can swim through the arteries. Nice visual.

Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.  Seriously?

Home Alone was released closer to the moon landing than it was to today.

Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.

France was still executing people with the guillotine when the first Star Wars film came out.  Ouch!

Betty White is actually older the sliced bread.

Not once in the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme does it mention he is an egg.

A strawberry isn't a berry but a banana is.  So are avocados and watermelon.

New York City is further south than Rome, Italy.

North Korea and Finland are separated by only one country.

Mammoths went extinct 1,000 years after the Egyptians finished the Great Pyramid.

Nintendo was founded as a trading card company back in 1889.

The last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, women did not have the right to vote.

If you shrunk the sun down to the size of a white blood cell and shrunk the Milky Way Galaxy down using the same scale, it would be the size of the continental United States.  Think on that a bit.

John Tyler (10th US President), has a grandson who is alive today.

Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.  Well, that explains so much!

Alaska is simultaneously the most northern, most western, and most eastern state in the U.S.

Pluto never made a full orbit around the sun from the time it was discovered to when it was declassified as a planet.

There are more stars in space than there are grains of sand on every beach on Earth.  Wow! Think about that one.  Why, just Nauset Beach alone…..

There are more public libraries than McDonalds in the U.S.  Maybe there's hope?

You can't hum while holding your nose. Well, I can't anyway.

The pyramids were as old to the Romans as the Romans are to us.

There is 10 times more bacteria in your body than actual body cells.  OK, that bothers me.

And 90% of the cells that make us up aren't human but mostly fungi and bacteria.  Now, I'm really freaked.

Turtles can breathe out of their butts.  TMI.  Actually, I know people like that.

There are more atoms in a glass of water than glasses of water in all the oceans on Earth.

The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%. Through the dinosaur???

At the time the current oldest person on Earth was born, there was a completely different set of human beings on the planet.

And finally, for KBF, the dot over an "i" is called a tittle.  So there.

Mark Twain Quote:  "Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it."