Fun With Words

I wish I had a talent for this stuff.  I envy people who can sit down and roll off their tongue what complety escapes my consciousness.  Oh well, that's what seperates us from Dr. Suess and E.B. White.

All of this is, of course, my disclaimer for the conception of these cute phrases.  And it is a quick and cheap way to post a blog, but time of late I have none.  Time in Buffalo, preps for a trip to Florida (thank Fred I'm getting out of this miserable cold), and my increased push to make My back stop the attacks have left me high and dry.  Long story…another time.

In the meantime, enjoy these:

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. (feels like there should be a clashing of symbols here)
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center you've see a mall.
Police were called to a day care center where a three year old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the ellow whose whole left side was cut off?  He's all right now. (definitely a symbol called for here)
A bicycle can't stand alone.  It is two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That's the point of it.
And the final entry….aren't you glad?
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

Amen.

Mark Twain Quote:  "As soon as one is at rest, in this world, off he goes on something else to worry about."

Top Ten?

I think it's tough enough to make a top ten list of anything. I mean, how do you really know?  So much subjectivity, too little objectivity?  Says who?  What's your criteria?  Tell a hundred people to make a top ten list of something, and you'll get one hundred diferent answers.  But for some perverse human reason, we revel in making this stuff up.  Must fulfill some kind of need.

Here, we visit an outfit called WatchMojo.com and sneak a peek at what has to be the toughest top ten subject….ever.  I refer to the Top Ten Movies of All Time!!!   Of ALL time -- top ten?  You can do that?  What the hell standards do you apply to come up with that list?

Well, in this case, the Mojo folks based their list rankings by drawing from the #1 or #2 ranked movies in each decade.  Then to this recipe they stirred in the movie's iconic status, critical acclaim, box-office success, and….wait for it…..its watchability.  Is that like "physicality?"  This is not a list your film studies professor or most artsy movie critics would pick.  But it is a list, and could fuel many a discussion, nay, argument.  So, with that on our mind, we boldly list….the list.

10.  Apocalypse Now (1979)
       "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," so saith Robert Duvall. Scary flick.

9.    The Wizard of Oz (1939)
        I hated this movie.  Oz is worse than Darth Vader.

8.     Gone With The Wind (1939)
        Tomorrow is another day…one of the worst, albeit it funny, endings of any  movie I've ever seen.

7.     The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
         Don't know, never saw it.  I do like Morgan Freeman though.

6.     The Dark Knight (2008)
        Never saw this either, as I think some of the Batman movies got awfully dark.  And Heath
        Ledger was about as dark as dark could be.  Scary.

5.     Star Wars Episode V:  The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
        Seen one, seem 'em all.  I really liked them when they came out, and even enjoy them now, but
        definitely with a smile on my face and a chuckle or two that was missing the first time around.

4.     Psycho (1960)
        Love Hitchcock, what else is there to say?

3.     Pulp Fiction (1994)
        I've never seen this one from beginning to end.  I hereby resolve, in 2015, to correct this
        omission.

2.     Citizen Kane (1941)
        OK, OK, I guess….it's on everyone's list.

And finally, the Number One movie of ALL time?????

1.      The Godfather (1972)
         For many reasons, it's tough to knock this one off the pedestal.

NOTE:  Any list of top movies that omits Casablanca (1942) has a fundamental error in its ranking system…that's all I have to say.

Mark Twain Quote:  "There has never been an uninteresting life.  Such a thing is an impossibility.  Inside of the dullest exteriior there is a drama, a comedy, a tragedy."

Christmas Past

Can we extend Christmas just a bit? Good, as I always love to do that.  Birthdays, holidays, special times.  Make them last.  For all the things that are good in life, we need to keep them alive.

Now, I'm  not one much for this linking thing, but I'll give it a shot. If it fails, do this.  Google:
"Christmas Memories Syracuse you tube Mevec."

Link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1w6EIC1bYE

Just a little video trip down memory lane for all you folks in Syracuse, NY.  Enjoy.

Last post of the year 2014.  We'll see.

Mark Twain Quote:  "My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges."

Only at Christmas

This Christmas end a quarrel.  Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion, replace it with trust.  Write a love letter.  Share some treasure.  Give a soft answer.  Keep a promise.  Find the time.  Forego a grudge.  Try to understand.  Flout envy.  Think first of someone else.  Appreciate.  Be kind: be gentle.  Laugh a little.  Laugh a little more.  Deserve confidence.  Take arms against malice.  Decry complacency.  Express your gratitude.  Welcome a stranger.  Gladden the heart of a child.  Take pleasure in the beauty of the earth.  Speak your love.  Speak it again.  Speak it still once again.

Merry Christmas....keep it going.

Mark Twain Quote:  Sam Clemens did love a good drink. On Christmas Eve, we shall allow him that pleasure...he has the night off.

To All The Ships At Sea

Having a MAJOR operation certainly elicited a flood of thought and reflection, an examination of life, and an appreciation of all things dear…. if for no other reason than I woke up.  But truly it is more than that, for in a sense I experienced death, or dying, or something close to it.  And that, trust me, will grab your attention.

I replay that day like a syndicated tv rerun.  Talking to the anesthesiologist on my not so free ride to the operating room, I ceased to be.  For over eight hours, I was suspended in nothingness.  I vaguely remember returning to the living, mumbling some nonsensical drivel to anyone within range. In my long nap, I didn’t have any “near death” revelation. I wasn’t perched on the wall near the ceiling watching and listening, and I certainly saw no white light that seemed to beckon me forth, only to turn me away with a wave of the wand.  I was just….gone.  Blackness…nothingness…..no sense of existence.  Now I wonder if, well, that’s just the way it’s going to be folks.  Oh well, food for future pondering fueled by a wine or two. But for now, now that I have a deeper appreciation of just how close we all are to the big sleep, I feel a renewed urge to be close, in presence, or word, or thought, to the many people whose lives have touched mine in some fashion.

So this is to all the ships at sea, and all the ports of call, to those I hold dear and here, and to all friends, those fresh and those weathered, those close by, and especially those so far away.  Each of you has left your fingerprint on my spirit, and given me things that hopefully have made me a better person, or at least one trying to be.  Thank you.  Merry Christmas to you all and a wonderful New Year. :)

Mark Twain Quote:  “The xmas holidays have this high value:  that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.”

Syracuse - Part 2

And now for the second ten most amazing gizmos ever invented…right  here in good old Syracuse, NY.

The dentist chair

This one was a surprise! In 1848, one Milton Waldo Hanchett of Syracuse, NY gave to the world … the dental chair.   Wild speculation has it that the chair was adapted for use in the dental office.  Prior use?  Recliner, torture, or hmmmm, another, nobler purpose?

State Fair plus first ferris wheel in the US

The New York State Fair is the longest running state fair in the country.  For real.  And at the 1849 fair the first Ferris wheel was built by two Erie Canal workers.  It was 50’ high, made or iron and oak and four adults or six children could fit in the wooden buckets that were attached. No data on the number of severe or fatal accidents.  Or just how it worked. 

First drive-thru

In 1949, the Merchants National Bank (where my mother used to work, at the drive in for a time when she first started there!) created the very first automobile “drive-in bank.”  Syracuse, it appears, was the test tube for lots of new marketing ideas throughout the years.  Others soon copied the idea that swept the country.

The time clock

A jeweler named Willard Le Grand Bundy (no relation to Al) got a patent in 1888 for a mechanical time recorder for workers.  And skipping work and padding hours and other pranks disappeared from the face of the earth.  Correct that, they just morphed to beat the new “technology.”

The shot clock

In a bowling alley, on James St. in Eastwood (should be hallowed ground, but noooo, it had to be demolished to make room for a drug store.  God forbid there isn’t one on every corner in America), the owner of the Syracuse Nationals (now known as the Philadelphia 76ers) had an idea.  Danny Biasone thought NBA games were too boring as teams would stall, or slow up play if they were ahead.  He invented a clock that he called the “shot clock.”  The clock started at 24 seconds and counted down…by zero, a shot must be taken or the other team got the ball. This was in 1954 folks.   It’s been with us ever since.  Thank Fred.  You think NBA games are boring now, just think if there were no clock.

Sani-grip

Charlie Vinal worked in a lot of restaurants.  I guess he saw how “lovely” some of the rest rooms could be, so he had an idea.  He invented this gizmo that would attach to the toilet seat so you would not have to touch the seat to raise it.  Better things have replaced this old technology, but I guess we have to pat Charlie on the back for starting the ball rolling. Or the paper, or gloves, or whatever.

Magtite magnetic tape holster

Stephen Potter graduated from F-M and attended SU, then launched a career as a bartender at Pastabilites. Always good for a laugh, no one took him seriously until 1991 when he invented, patented, and brought to market the Magtite, a magnetic holder for a carpenter’s tape measure.  Contractors everywhere began using this tool belt staple.  Who’s laughing now?

Arm and Hammer baking soda

OK, these guys single handedly destroyed Onondaga Lake and made it the laughing stock of the nation. One can not overestimate the damage they wrought upon this once pristine body of water, but as a parting gift they did give the world baking soda. What would mankind do without it?

First synthetic penicillin

Right here in Syracuse, the world was, in no small measure, saved.  Synthetic penicillin was safer and more effective than previous forms of the drug.  In 1948, three chemists developed this life saver and they deserve mention – Frank Buckwalter, H. Leo Dickison, and Amel Menotti.  Thank you gentlemen.

The first literacy volunteer organization

Ruth Johnson Colvin founded Literacy Volunteers of America, Inc., in 1962.  It is a national, educational, non-profit organization with staff at the local, state, and national levels.  Spreading the priceless gift of reading, this group has advanced and made better the lives of thousands upon thousands of people. There are few gifts as valuable as the gift of being able to read.  Bless ‘em all.

 That's is folks.  If you want to help put Syracuse on the world map, go invent something unique and you too can be added to this list.

Clinton Square in Syracuse NY

Mark Twain Quote:  “I have, as you say, been interested in patents and patentees.  If your books tell how to exterminate inventors send me nine editions. Send them by express.”

Syracuse - New York that is

Syracuse.  Just a name.  Just a place.  One of 6 cities in the United States so called, it was named by John Wilkinson (its first postmaster and attorney) in 1819.  He compared it to Syracuse, a city on the isle of Sicily. Quite a stretch, but it stuck, and here we are.

Today it claims as its own some 145,000 souls.   And it offers them some distinguishing tidbits of trivia to live with.  It is the largest “Syracuse” in the country, and the 5^th most populous city in our overtaxed state of New York. It is the worst city in the country for tipping.  Syracuse University has been named the number one party school in the country.  The list could go on, but I’ll spare you.

On the plus side, it has also been named to the top ten best places to raise a family.  And, it is the safest city in the US for refuge from natural disasters. That alone should make you want to pitch your tent right in the middle of Salina St., the main drag through town. 

What will make you want to fold your tent and find greener, warmer pastures is our famously, infamous winter season.   With snow, cold, and winds, all fueled by our proximity to the great lakes, we enjoy through the dark winter doldrums what we call (interspersed with adult words) lake effect snow storms.  Just think blizzard.  And no sun, precious sun.

But, back to the beginning for just a minute.  Over the years, it grew and prospered and from the pages of its many newspapers, sprang heroes, villains, and vagabonds. Just like most places, I’d imagine. And along the way it made some history, and gave to the world some interesting additions to enhance the life of  people near and far.  Which is really the point of this post.  Here, I present some 20 “things” Syracuse has given mankind.  Who would have thunk it….not me.  A mild surprise, they give me a chance to smile at my home city, but only until the sun is once again blocked out by clouds.  In about 15 minutes.

The Brannock Device for measuring shoe size

Remember when you used to go to a store dedicated to just footwear, or to a big department store with a shoe department, and people actually waited on you, and measured you, and all that stuff? Well, the thing used to determine the length and width  (and hence, the size) of your smelly little tootsies, was invented by one Charles Brannock.  He made the fist one in 1926 and now they are the international standard for measuring for footwear….samples are even in the Smithsonian! BTW, if you want to experience again that old fashioned customer service, head to your nearest Fleet Feet store.  They have a Brannock waiting for you.

 

Look familiar?

The loafer

A shoe without laces.  Sounds like a Syracuse thing.  Invented right at the A.E. Nettleton Shoe company.  Thank you very much.

The serrated edge bread knife

Thank Joseph E. Burns for this patent. They work on other stuff as well, so go experiment.

The Mutoscope (first personal motion picture projector)

Patented by Herman Casler on November 21, 1894, this first projector did not project on a screen, but to only one person at a time.  It was controlled by the viewer.  It used coins to run the machine.  Think peep show.  Only in Syracuse!

The Franklin automobile

Made here by the H.H. Franklin Manufacturing Company, it utilized the air-cooled engine, also invented right here in Syracuse, on the corner of East Fayette and South Geddes Sts.

The first ever traffic signal

The Crouse-Hinds Electric Company, established in 1897, made the first traffic signals in the U.S.  Another Syracuse first….the only traffic light in the country where the green light is on top and the red light on the bottom.  It’s on Tipperary Hill, so you can thank the Irish for this one of a kind light.

      

The Brown-Stillman pneumatic tire

When you say pneumatic, think…air.  What a concept!  Alexander Brown was an engineer, businessman, entrepreneur, and in his spare time…an inventor (typewriter, shotgun, bicycle gears, to name a few).  His tire appeared in 1895 and was an instant hit…it increased greatly the comfort level of riding in the new fangled “motorized wagon.” They were used in the first automobile race held in the United States.

The first multij-shift bicycle gear

See previous….it wasn’t a big hit in the early days of bicycling (remember that bike with the HUGE front wheel?), but it soon found an eager friend in the automobile.

Salt potatoes

Take our local version of gold – aka salt – add an influx of Irish immigrants working on the Erie Canal and in the salt mines, and you have the recipe for our area’s number one side staple.  How’d it really start….for lunch, the Irish miners boiled potatoes in the salt brines, and they tasted good!  And they stuck ever since.

Cathedral candles

Family owned and operated candle maker - the Cathedral Candle Company was founded in 1897 and has operated its sole manufacturing operation at 510 Kirkpatrick St.  ever since! That’s a miracle in the business world. Cathedral candles, as the moniker would imply, is one of the leading suppliers of church candles in the United States.  They have been used by bishops, cardinals, and popes, and I’m sure, for lighting pumpkins on that holiday first celebrated by heathens - Halloween….it’s all about balance!

That’s enough for now, my editor is starting to drift off to slumber.  I can feel it.

The last 10 next time. 

Mark Twain Quote: “Inventors are the creators of the world-after God.”

(Note:  Twain probably did not believe in a God….but he hedged his bets when it suited his purpose)