Better Than Sex????

Now that I have your undivided attention, for at least the next 30 seconds anyway, allow me to introduce the word massage into this conversation. When we talk about massage, we are discussing something that has been around for ever.  See, fact is, if you mention the country China as the origin of anything, you are automatically talking thousands of years.  Oh, still there huh, thinking, ok, this could take a good turn.  Well, put a lid on it buckaroo.  But what I am about to tell you just might interest you very much, so hang in there.

I had my first massage about 10 years ago. Certainly apprehensive, ready to bolt in a heartbeat, I walked through that door and in an hour, my life changed.  I had no idea what to expect, but certainly didn’t think filling out “paperwork” was the first thing I would do. In addition to the usual personal data and pertinent medical information, there were two forms I had to read and sign.  They quickly brought a huge smile to my otherwise anxious face. 

The first basically stated that if I went toes up on the table, the massage therapist wasn’t responsible or liable but would call someone to come claim my body.  The second was, I thought, hilarious.  I’ll bet everyone who thinks massage wonders about, you know, what might happen, you know, during all that gentle, rhythmic stroking and rubbing, with that warm oil, well, you know, humans, being human and all, doing what nature programmed them to do. Oh hell, if you don’t get the gist of this by now, check your pulse.  Alas, not to worry, the form was brief, and right to the point.  It shouted from the roof top for all to hear….if you even think about it, you’re outta here!

That safety feature dialed in, I received my instruction as to how the session would proceed.  With those forms I just seconds ago signed still fresh in my mind, I was thrown a confusing curve when the therapist offered me the choice of lying on the table with nothing on, or keeping my Jockeys right where they were when I came in.  Hmm, I pondered, let me get this straight.  I’m going to lie on a table (ok - covered with a sheet, save for the exposed body part being worked on), and someone I just met 5 minutes ago and obviously do not know from the proverbial hill of beans, is going to cover 90% of my body with oil over the course of the next hour, and she tells me I can choose to be naked.  Crack me up.  I don’t think so.  My Jockeys and I would not part company that day.

Once initiated by this baptism of fire, I must tell you that massages became for me one of life’s greatest treats. And into the bargain, they are good for us. In addition to all the mental and emotional benefits, I believe they have physical rewards by helping clean out some of the junk in your body.  But even if they didn’t, the feeling of relaxation, calmness, and renewal you get are more than worth it. I’ve come to regard them as something essential to one’s well being, and I believe nothing could produce the same positive feelings that a good massage always does. Or so I thought.

Then someone whispered the word reflexology in my ear. Seems this is a system of massage that targets the feet, hands, and head, with the theory that there are reflex points on them that are linked to every part of the body.  By targeting these spots, a therapist can positively affect a part of the body far removed from the point of massage – aka, the therapy can heal.  

But, in realistic terms, when we say reflexology, we invariably talk about massage of the feet.  I know what you’re thinking here.  Rubbing smelly feet, how awful and unappealing is that? Looking at bunions, cracked heels, weird toenails, how could that possibly be good, for the therapist anyway? We're all self conscoius about out little piggies. You and I have even joked about people with “foot fetishes,” and not in the kindest of terms.  All in all, feet aren't perceived to be neat, or a treat.  OK, that was lame….but true.

Well folks, I’m here to tell ya, don’t dismiss this until you’ve gotten up the gumption to try it. I attended a seminar at Natur-Tyme in Dewitt, and was very impressed when a reflexologist, during a demonstration, rubbed a spot on a patient’s foot, and produced a very sharp pain in that person’s neck! I was hooked….I had to have one.

So, I signed up, and, with modest expectation, stumbled into one of the most intense and pleasurable experiences of my life.  I can’t even begin to convey to you (I’ll have to hurry, my editor is losing interest right about now) all the nuances of a good session.  Just believe that it is more intense than a massage ever thought of being, and there will be some surprises awaiting you.  During one session, I literally jumped when the therapist rubbed a spot on my foot.  It was a brief, yet sharp, stabbing jolt in my upper abdomen, precisely the body location on my foot that the therapist was working on. 

Let’s put it this way, if I were faced with the dilemma of having to choose one therapy for the rest of my life, either a full body massage or reflexology – I would choose reflexology hands down (hey, I could have said feet, but I didn’t).   No hesitation, no question.  So, massage … reflexology - better than sex?  Wadda ya think?   Well, you’re just going to have to try ‘em all, then decide!  Have fun.  :)

Mark Twain Quote:  “We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking."