And The Winner Is……..

…Moby Dick’s.  Meet my new found champion in the category of: Best Lobster Roll … ever!   I honestly thought I’d never see the day.  The menu describes it as “tender tail and claw meat with just a touch of mayo on a toasted New England roll.” It was certainly all of that, and more.  For you novice Cape visitors, Moby Dick’s is located on Rt. 6, at the northern end of the Town of Wellfleet, well on the way to Provincetown.  It’s on the left headed north, and is an unassuming little stop on the road, hardly noticeable, hiding in muted colors just beyond all the cars stuffed into its parking lot.

I should have sensed something special was about to happen when we drove into the parking lot just after they opened for lunch, and were greeted by a ton of people already in line.  Uh - oh I thought, we’re in for a long wait.  But there was a good reason for this popularity.  This place turned out to be a model of organization and efficiency the likes of which I’ve never seen in a restaurant before.  Add to that great casual food, well prepared, and you’ve got a winner.

It is a very informal place, as many Cape joints are.  It kind of reminded me of Sesuit Harbor Café.  A huge line forms outside, and when space is available, the entire party is ushered inside to place their order.  Once the order is placed,  you are escorted to a table already set to fit your needs, there to await your food.  There were 13 of us, and starting the timer at the moment we placed our order until our food was served, no more than 15 minutes elapsed.  For 13 people!

It tastes as good as it looks :)

That’s all lobster meat in the picture folks, piles of it.  It was perfect … toasted roll, just a hint of mayo (I got extra just to add now and then), and oh so tender.  The only drawback was the ever present hot dog bun sized roll.  There was way too much meat for the size of the roll, which is my pet peeve with this lobster treat. But in this case I’ll make an exception and perhaps next time bring a roll of my own so I can make 2 lobster rolls.  Yes, there is plenty enough for two!

Just to be fair, I also visited Chapin’s restaurant in Dennis (the Taunton Ave. location) to sample what has always been my favorite lobster roll.  This is mainly because they use an oversized bun and cram it full of lobster meat, plain and simple.  Except this year.  For some unknown, but fatal reason, Chain’s altered the way they make a lobster roll.  Considerably less meat filled (or should I say didn’t fill) the bun this time.  No lobster roll passes muster unless it is stuffed to the overflowing in the bun.  You lose Chapins.  Quantity of lobster meat ultimately trumps size of bun. 

There is now a new number one in the house.  Content beyond belief, my tummy smiling, I headed south after lunch toward Orleans.  I just happened to be sightseeing and out of the corner of my eye, on Rt. 6, directly across from the entrance to the Salt Pond Visitor Center, I saw a restaurant by the name of The Lobster Shanty.  Out front, by the road, was one of those portable signs with letters you can slide in and out to create your message.  In this case, the message simply said:  Cape Cod’s Best Lobster Roll.  Ya think?  Well, I guess that next year I’ll have to try one of theirs.  It ain’t over yet!  Maybe it will never be over.  I'll try this and other places, that’s a given, but for sure I will return to Moby Dick’s!

My visit to the Cape for 2014 now complete, the next two posts will feature my old friend, Vivien Oswell on the happy side, and, regretfully, Bonatt’s on the sad side.  Stay tuned.

Mark Twain Quote: “All people have had ill luck, but Jairus’s daughter and Lazarus had the worst.”

SHARK HO!

Well, it must be getting close to my pilgrimage to Cape Cod.  A few nights ago, ABC nightly news dutifully reported on a favorite yearly topic of theirs – the annual sighting of great white sharks around Nauset Beach in Orleans, MA.  This year there was even a video of one of the monsters enjoying a slow, leisurely stroll up and down the beach.  So far this year, ABC says 7 sightings have been recorded.

 

Lunch?

Or freedom????

Now, it just so happens that Nauset Beach is exactly where my GPS says my van is going. I’ve never seen a shark off this beach, but I have seen what lures them to stop by this idyllic little spot on their annual migration north.  Seals.  Close to shore, you can watch them pop their little heads out of the water and simply stare at all of us on the beach.  I’ve often wondered what they are thinking when they do that.  Are their round little moon eyes trying to lure us into the water to play with them?   Do they want to join us in beachside frolic?  Or do they just wonder what the hell we are and what we’re doing in their neighborhood?

Now, in the animal kingdom, looks can be very deceiving.  These adorable little fur balls with their “come love me” eyes and cute whiskers and comic antics hide what is in essence a predator in its own right.  One Cape Cod fisherman who should know calls these innocents “wolves that went into the water.”  Why?  Because these little creatures love to feast on – seafood!  In many cases, the same varieties Cape fishermen catch just so we who are at the Cape can enjoy the unique experience of feasting on what is really fresh seafood.  Caught in the morning, on your plate by night.  You can not beat that anywhere!

The seals usually hang around Monomoy Island just off Chatham.  On any given drive by, one could easily see 4,000 to 5,000 seals lounging on the sandbar, much the same as we humans hang around our favorite beach.  Almost non existent in the early 80s, the seal population exploded in the mid 2000s.  The seals in and around the Cape and the islands now number roughly 16,000 smiley faces with whiskers, and their expected growth rate is about 20% a year!

 

Hanging out in Chatham

And…these little critters devour about 4 – 6% of their body weight every day on seafood.  That’s 32 to 48 pounds of fish per seal, every day. Multiply that by 16,000 hungry mouths, and it seriously affects what is left over for us.  Now that makes fishermen mad. 

With numbers like that, the shark community quickly spread the word and decided this was a trip definitely worth the effort.  The fact that seals are to the great white a “superb high calorie meal”  sealed (no pun) the deal.  Permanently entered into their GPS is a yearly visit to The Cape and the islands.  Just like we humans.  

It would be like telling me that a place called Cape Cod is home to the greatest number of outlets for lobster rolls on the planet, all in one convenient little place, where the pickins’ are soooo easy.   I know I’d find it and migrate there every year just to over serve myself on this treat.  Which is essentially what I do, and what they do as well.

Isn't is odd I'm beginning to think.  We go to the Cape for pretty much one of the same reasons the seals and the great white sharks do.  We're all simply looking for a good meal.  

So, it’s off to the Cape I go, with empty stomach and full wallet.  I will enjoy my little feasts, and probably hear more about the shark vs. seal issue as time goes on.  Count on a future battle coming to the Cape regarding the seal problem. Don’t be surprised if the fishermen want to encourage “culling” the herd of seals to address the seafood shortage and great white shark situation.  But the way those things usually work out, don’t count on the sharks leaving this buffet table any time soon!

Mark Twain Quote: “You talk about happy creatures – did you ever notice a porpoise?  Well, there ain’t anything in heaven here superior to that happiness.”

(Mark never wrote about sharks it would appear.) 

What Happened…?

It seems like only yesterday, I was cheerful, bright, and gay … looking forward to …what was that again?  An operation?  I had an operation?  I did?  I did.

Don't remember one single part of it though.  Last conscious memory…being wheeled down a hallway.  Well, it's 4 weeks and 3 days later, and I just now feel remotely like sitting down and writing … anything … let alone a blog post.

Blame it on what?  The wholly unanticipated consequences and after shock of having one's  body opened up, "repaired," and then put back together again (truth be told, I actually had two operations, but that is a story for a blog not yet born)? The underestimated physical and mental stress demands that are placed upon that little body?  The mindset - never did I think there would be this long or bothersome "recovery" period.  Which is still well under way, by the way.

And that brings me to the most current and active reason …. drugs.  When you are under the influence of Mr. Morphine and Mr. Oxycodone, you really don't feel like doing anything.  Suspended twixt slumber and awareness, writing is not one of the things that even enters your life.  Believe me, drugs are NOT an inspiration to writing or creativity. Now, a good beer or three, or a large wine or two … those can inspire rocks to literature.

So, once the drugs have ceased their hold and purged themselves from my vessels to make room for the true inspiration of the pen, then will you see a blog post.  There's lots to tell, if ultimately I feel like it. And can remember it.  Hopefully, it won't be long.

Mark Twain Quote:  "Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of a thing, any way you take him; a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities.  He is always undergoing repairs.    A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market."

Tide You Over

Well, here's your filler, till I am upright again.  Hospital tomorrow…new report time is 8 am, with the first ceremonial cut scheduled for 10 am.  That's the first schedule change, others will most certainly follow.  I may have to to a post-op post or two on my experience.

But on to our topic. I love this stuff.  What would a shrink say that says about me?  Who the hell cares.  Read on, and be enlightened (I hope these are accurate. For all I know, some of them are a lie from the pit of hell):

Maine is the closest U.S. state to Africa

Anne Frank, Martin Luther King, Jr…and Barbara Walters were born in the same year, 1929

Cleopatra lived closer to the invention of the iPhone than she did to the building of the Great Pyramid.

Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto.

Hippo milk is pink.

Carrots were originally purple.

The heart of a whale is so big, a human can swim through the arteries. Nice visual.

Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.  Seriously?

Home Alone was released closer to the moon landing than it was to today.

Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.

France was still executing people with the guillotine when the first Star Wars film came out.  Ouch!

Betty White is actually older the sliced bread.

Not once in the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme does it mention he is an egg.

A strawberry isn't a berry but a banana is.  So are avocados and watermelon.

New York City is further south than Rome, Italy.

North Korea and Finland are separated by only one country.

Mammoths went extinct 1,000 years after the Egyptians finished the Great Pyramid.

Nintendo was founded as a trading card company back in 1889.

The last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, women did not have the right to vote.

If you shrunk the sun down to the size of a white blood cell and shrunk the Milky Way Galaxy down using the same scale, it would be the size of the continental United States.  Think on that a bit.

John Tyler (10th US President), has a grandson who is alive today.

Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.  Well, that explains so much!

Alaska is simultaneously the most northern, most western, and most eastern state in the U.S.

Pluto never made a full orbit around the sun from the time it was discovered to when it was declassified as a planet.

There are more stars in space than there are grains of sand on every beach on Earth.  Wow! Think about that one.  Why, just Nauset Beach alone…..

There are more public libraries than McDonalds in the U.S.  Maybe there's hope?

You can't hum while holding your nose. Well, I can't anyway.

The pyramids were as old to the Romans as the Romans are to us.

There is 10 times more bacteria in your body than actual body cells.  OK, that bothers me.

And 90% of the cells that make us up aren't human but mostly fungi and bacteria.  Now, I'm really freaked.

Turtles can breathe out of their butts.  TMI.  Actually, I know people like that.

There are more atoms in a glass of water than glasses of water in all the oceans on Earth.

The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%. Through the dinosaur???

At the time the current oldest person on Earth was born, there was a completely different set of human beings on the planet.

And finally, for KBF, the dot over an "i" is called a tittle.  So there.

Mark Twain Quote:  "Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it."

Pre-Surgery Week

I have a plan, a definite plan, a logical (?) plan, a (thankfully) short plan.  It's Surgery Week.  Or, should I say Pre-Surgery Week, full of events leading up to the big cut.  And, in my case, hopefully, the little cut.

Monday, I'm off to my primary care doc for a "pre-surgery clearance" visit.  I guess I have to have his blessing that I'm breathing hard enough to enjoy the process that is soon to follow.

On Wednesday, I hit the big three, plus one.  An early morning CT scan, followed by a pre-surgery consult with the actual, factual, surgeon.  He's a guy I like a lot.  The more I talk to him, the more confident I feel about the whole mess.  A friend of mine, prominent in the real estate game hereabouts, had major back surgery done recently by this fellow and loves both the outcome and the person who saved him.  And in the process, I think he sold 2 houses while he was in residence at the hospital.

At 3 pm, I then meet with the anesthesia doc who,  on Monday next, is  going to send me on a short vacation where, hopefully, I will dream only the sweet dreams I want to, and not see any brilliant lights coming my way …. or be relegated to hovering in the corner of the OR, up by the ceiling, watching a bunch of people while they ply their trade on my back.  Just sweet dreams, please.  What I have to do here in the way of "pre-testing," I have no idea.

That makes three for the day.  The plus one is my dentist, who has called twice now to reschedule my check up … and I figured what the hell, the day's shot anyway …. so I fit him in at noon.

Then it's wait till Monday, June 16th, where I have an appointment at Crouse for 10 am.  That's arrival time.   Given my limited experience with other medical procedures, I know surgery won't happen till 2 pm or so.  Hospitals, more than most other institutions, specialize in waiting.  It's an art form, and they're damn good at it.

So, that's that.  I'll check in when I can.  I shan't bring my iPad to the hospital, as I fear I would not leave with it.  Sad to think that, isn't it?  But I'll be in touch, perhaps with a tide you over post before I actually go.

Mark Twain Quote:  "One should not bring sympathy to a sick man.  It is always kindly meant, and of course it has to be taken - but it isn't much of an improvement on castor ooil.  One who has a sick man's true interest at heart will forbear spoken sympathy, and bring him surreptitious soup and fried oysters and other trifles that the doctor has tabooed."

Oops….Not So Fast

Well, it turns out that Tiger and I aren’t so connected at the hip, or should I say back, after all.  Oh, for sure we both have herniated discs, but mine, in one case, has improved, while the other stuff that’s not bothering Tiger so much has gone south for me.  L4-5 is the culprit, and it has decided to show just who is boss of this operation, no pun.

And this, boys and girls, is your Lumbar Spine.  Pretty, isn't it?  Looks like a snake.

Of course, I found this out when in Florida for my pre-op consult…which took place exactly 15 hours before my scheduled surgery.  Think they could have made a phone call and saved me a trip? 

Though I did spend a week in Florida, and thoroughly enjoyed sun that warmed me to my bones, it was, for the business of the business I was there for, a wasted trip.  It also called to mind the inexact and imperfect and inefficient world that is medicine these days.

All of which left me more than a little peeved.  A letter written by a pen warmed up in hell is in the offing.  I think the good Doctor needs to know there is a huge disconnect between him and his “front office.”  This was to be my very first surgery in my whole little life, so I had no precedence to guide me, but in retrospect, I could hear balls being dropped at every juncture of this experience.  Luck of the Irish.

So, I am back in sunny Syracuse, now scheduling another stab at painless.  This time it’s an orthopedic surgeon, not a neurosurgeon.  And, I’m happy to report, so far, so good.  I’ve had the consult, scheduled the pre-op visit, and have a surgery date.  The doctor in this instance knows full well that on August 1^st, the bus for Cape Cod leaves the depot, whether I’m on it or not.  He assures me I will be on it.  We’ll see.

Because this is a more extensive endeavor (a fusion for God’s sake), it is a little more serious.  But, as luck would have it, again I qualify (so far) for the minimally invasive version of this surgery.  That, they promise me, means less pain, less recovery time, and in some respects, a better outcome.  Golf and biking and walking are gloriously in my fairly immediate future.  If I couldn't be physically active, I'd go nuts. 

And I guess I’m thankful for the present day.  My neighbor across the street had a spinal fusion done 50 years ago (he’s 90ish and still walks, plays golf, etc.) and he had to live in a body cast for 3 months after surgery!  With good behavior, they tell me I’m out in 2-3 days, tops.  By the time my kids deserve one of these, they will probably do it as an outpatient; in at breakfast, out by dinner. Or maybe even at home.

Mark Twain Quote: “as far as being on the verge of being a sick man I don’t take any stock in that.  I have been on the verge of being an angel all of my life, but it’s never happened yet.”

Tiger and I…...

….have something in common!  Aside:  for anyone who is a reader of this blog, you understand the title explicitly.  For those of you who think this should read “Me and Tiger,” well, there’s not much hope for you.  You will probably end up with a job somewhere, even though your resume is no doubt a minefield of mistakes, with some lies thrown in for luck.  And it probably runs on for 2 or 3 pages…hint, you’re not that important. In the final analysis, there is no excuse for poor English in the better echelons of the working world. Wait, what is going on here?  Pain. Pain makes me rant, and I am in pain.

Anyway, Tiger and I do have one thing in common, and it’s not a flawless golf swing.  Tiger recently dropped out of competition to have surgery performed on his back.  To be exact, he underwent a microdiscectomy on his spine.  This to correct a herniated disc that caused him much pain and suffering. 

Well, I’m proud to say I’ve got one as well.  I always thought that people who complained of back issues were basically, well, faking it.  How could a back possibly cause that much trouble was my opinion on the subject….right up to the moment it happened to me.  Now I understand and shed tears when people tell me how they are sent to their knees, banished to the floor on all fours, unable to walk upright. Yes brother, I believe, and share your pain, literally.

Now, I’ve got some other issues as well – misaligned vertebrae, some stenosis, and a little arthritis throw in.  Tiger probably has some of that as well, as I’ve come to believe that once your back revolts and sends you the memo, it’s usually on more than one level. And I am amazed to learn that back pain, in various combinations, is rampant among us.  There is hardly a person I talk to about this who has not had back troubles of some stripe - young, old, and every back in between.

I’ve had this for over a year, but didn’t take it seriously until I could no longer swing a golf club (again, my kinship with Tiger).  Then I took this all VERY seriously. Off to the Docs.  Of course, they start small and work their way up the chain, but always waiting at the end is the dreaded phrase, “spinal surgery.”  I tried it all.  PT, gym, swimming, massage, acupuncture, reflexology (see “Better Than Sex” – 12/7/13), biking, walking, epidural spinal injections, offerings to the gods, and finally, serious sessions of sailor swearing while drinking adult beverages.  Nothing helped.

So, it was off to a specialist…. or should I say two specialists. Always get a second opinion. It pays…you’ll see.  Now, up front, I’ve got to tell you I was impressed with both of them, and liked them instantly.  But…..but….these two learned men looked at the very same MRI films, and presented me with two completely different treatment recommendations! Oy!  What now?

The one fella, my primary surgery contact, is an orthopedic surgeon here in Syracuse, while the other is a neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon is in Florida , and was my second opinion, even though I saw him first – long story, won’t bore you. He showed me a section of my spine where the nerve is supposed to be nice and straight.  My problem is that at that point (L3-4 for you amateur docs) my nerve resembled a bend in the Mississippi river.  The nice little disc was a leakin’ out of its rightful place and just twisting that little nerve into a pretzel. His opinion: I needed a microdiscectomy.  Minimally invasive.  In at 5:30am, out by dinner.  Treat the other problems if and when they started barking.  I liked the sound of that.

He also cautioned me in two areas.  Avoid any “laser” spine outfits…period.  And he told me the “ortho boys” would want to fuse me.  How right he was.

When I arrived back in frigid Syracuse, I went to the orthopedic surgeon for my consultation visit.  The first thing he said as he was reviewing my MRI was that I would need a fusion at 2 levels in my spine, with the full accompaniment of nuts, bolts, screws, and plates that would make an airport screening gizmo scream at me like I was a terrorist.  I would, they said, lose about 15% mobility in my spine…not good for a golf swing, but my swing sucks anyway, so maybe this would be an improvement.  They did assure me I would play golf again.

Gee, what would you do?  Well, I posed that query to everyone I talked with about back issues, which included folks who have never had an inch of pain in their life and others who had back surgery in one form or another.  Now that advice pool runs the gamut from my barber to my doctor friends.  To a person, they just looked at me and simply said:  DUH!

So, I’m off to Florida to be minimally invaded on May 22.  Sunny Florida….and now, also a very HOT and HUMID Florida.  Why couldn’t my neurosurgeon be at the Cape????

I’ll write an update and pass it on, so it may be awhile…..stay tuned. 

Mark Twain Quote:  “Dear Sir (or Madam):  I try every remedy sent to me.  I am now on No. 67.  Yours is 2,653.  I am looking forward to its beneficial results.”